Thank You, Covid19

…sort of. I guess.

This post is written entirely from a place of privilege. I know how lucky I am to be able to work more or less from home, and to take some time to social distance and self-isolate. I am able to stay home in my pyjamas while so many people either wish they could go to work, and desperately need to go back to work, or are absolutely exhausted from working way too much (while putting themselves in danger, for too little pay) so that we can get the things that we need to stay at home. There are people dying from the Coronavirus, as well as from the fallout of it. It’s scary, and has a ripple effect, and I’m not saying this to make light of any of it, but I do have this list that keeps growing inside my head that I thought I would share.

I’m trying to find reasons to be thankful. Those #gratitude people, with their positive thinking and “glass half full” attitudes always seem so happy! …Maybe they’re high…Well, this is my attempt at gratitude, written as a list of thanks for the current situation. I’m a “Thank You” card kinda gal, you see.

Thank you, Covid19, for providing me with time to read (and write). I haven’t had this much time available in ages, and if I close my eyes and ears to the news and the reasons why I have all of this time, I can almost see it as a gift.

Thank you for giving me time to cook actual meals. Homemade dinners are pretty great, when they’re not thrown together in a stressful ball of burnt glop as I run through the house between appointments.

Thank you for helping me to catch up on some sleep that was sorely needed.

Thanks for helping me to zero in on every little thing that irritates me about my house…

…and my husband (sorry honey, but I’m sure I’m also a full-time delight to be around right now. Thank you for being my quarantine buddy!)

Thanks for teaching me about Zoom etiquette. Mostly. When my camera works.

Thank you for showing me that I needed to rearrange my priorities - like the importance of toilet paper or yeast over things like pants, and mental and physical health over being, doing, and having.

I’m hoping to say thank you for giving me months to grow out and get used to my grey hair. Maybe I’ll actually embrace it and be one of those cool, silver-haired women…or maybe I’ll cave in and dye it again in about 6 months. We shall see. It’s an adventure.

Thank you for helping me to hit the 50 days of consecutive meditation mark on my meditation app, due to free time and the need for better ways of managing stress. I’m not sure if I feel more calm, enlightened, or just smug. Maybe it’s all of the above.

I mean, I have a new yoga mat and fancy new absorbent period undies, as well as a new mattress, ’cause drunk online shopping happened. So thanks for that. Oh, and headscarves, because of the grey hair. (Yeah, that bit about health being more important than having took a back seat in those moments. It’s a process, people.)

Thank you for teaching me that the liquor store delivers. Neat.

Thanks but no thanks for giving me anxiety and pseudo-PTSD from grocery shopping. (I understand that it’s not legitimate PTSD, and that’s nothing to joke about, but I know I’m not the only one who has lost sleep from nervousness the night before getting up early to go and get into line to spend too much money on groceries, because the expensive grocery store is slightly less stressful than the big, cheap stores on the block.)

Thank you for teaching us what true leadership is — whether from our actual leaders or not. Some leaders in power have truly demonstrated awesome governance, while others have done so simply by falling on their faces, making us cringe in disgust. Some incredible leadership has come from people who aren’t in positions of power or authority at all, but are doing what is right, smart and good anyway. Thank you for shining a light on these people who are setting examples for us. I hope that we remember these lessons.

Thank you for reminding us that we really are all in this together.

Thank you for reminding us, in case we forgot, how important a living wage is, and that essential workers are just that — ESSENTIAL. All of the time. Not just in an emergency.

Thank you for showing me that I need to slow the eff down. I didn’t realize how high up my tense shoulders had gotten until they finally lowered to a normal place on my body.

Thank you for reminding me how easy it can be to connect with friends and family, near and far. It’s so easy to get caught up in a busy life that you forget the difference a 5 minute phone call or face time chat can make.

Thank you for showing us what’s truly important; reminding us to pause and make changes. Our planet is in trouble, our systems need changing, and maybe, for some of us, the way we live our lives needs reevaluating.

We talk about getting “back to normal”, but I’m really hoping that we create a better, new normal for the future. I don’t do well with change, and usually fear it; but honestly I’m more afraid that we, with our short attention spans, will forget all of the lessons that we’re currently learning and go right back to the dangerous path that we were on before. For our sakes, and for the sake of our planet, our health, our happiness, and mental health, we cannot.